Another trip to the hospital

Today I am sat at the hospital. After what I thought would be a straight forward appointment to the doctors Friday for what I thought was a chest infection, my gp has referred me for possible pulmonary embolism (blood clots in my lungs). I have a history of them as I had multiple clots in my lungs when I was pregnant with C. And it was awful. I had to inject myself twice a day with clexane. The bruises were horrendous and I got a skin infection at one point and it felt like 100 bee stings. I asked my consultant what would happen if I didn’t take the clexane. He told me I would die. I was in constant fear that myself and C wouldn’t survive my pregnancy.

Today I am sat on the ward where I was diagnosed with the clots last time round. Where I was left for hours at 12 weeks pregnant without food or drink or even being told what was happening to me. Sat in a chair in a waiting room with no idea what was going on. I made a complaint and got a 5 page apology and the times I was here after that day things did improve. But I am sat here today and my anxiety is through the roof. Even though I am still pretty confident I don’t have a clot and it is some sort of infection. I can feel my heart starting to beat a little faster thinking about the what ifs. That consultants words still ringing through my ears, knowing I have two small children and my husband at home waiting for me. I know I will be ok. I have been here before and everything will be fine. Plus I have my crochet and coffee to keep me hydrated and occupied today.


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